I Try To Avoid the Sorrow

I try to avoid the sorrow
I know must soon be mine
And keep you around a bit longer
But can see the pain in your eyes

... I try to avoid the heartache
The price I will pay for your love
Instead you suffer in silence
And look to me for your daily rub

It is time to transfer your aches
From your body and bones to my heart
To give you the gift of relief
In hopes you will have a new start

Go now my love and be free
Run like you did as a pup
I’ve taken your suffering and pain
And put it inside my own cup

My heartache and sorrow reminds me
Of the wonderful days we have had.
The strength of our love and kindness
Is why I must now be so sad

I would not have missed this feeling
Even with the heartache it brings
I was blessed to have you in my life
The memories of you over mere things.

Anon

Missing You

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

 

Author ~ Missing You poem By Colleen Fitzsimmons/ In memory of Shadow & Sexy Sadie

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
Author Unknown

 

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
The sun will rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
Remembering how I'd lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me.
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand.
She said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But, as I turned to heel away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.

I had so much to live for,
So many sits and downs to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
Remember how I'd nudge your hand,
And poke you with my nose?
The frisbee I would gladly chase,
The bad guy, I'd "bark and hold".

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd wag my tail and kiss you,
Just so I could see you smile.
But, then I fully realized,
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Will take the place of me.
And when I thought of treats and toys,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My dog-heart filled with sorrow.

But then I walked through Heaven's gate,
And felt so much at home;
As God looked down and smiled at me,
From His beautiful golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity,
And now we welcome you,
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
For you see, each days's the same day,
There's no longing for the past.
Now you have been so faithful,
So trusting, loyal and true;
Though there were times you did things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But good dogs are forgiven,
And now at last you're free;
So won't you sit here by my side,
And wait right here with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there, in your heart.

 

I Stood By Your Bed Last Night


I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew, in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

- Author unknown


 

It's Been One Year Since My Life Changed Colour

It was a year ago today that a big part of my heart died. It was a year ago today that I had waterworks installed in my eyes that won't stop running. I had to say goodbye to Mazlon on this day last year. November  21, 2011. There was no choice. I know that. It was the only choice to be made especially as she could no longer even stand up and was gasping for breath. ...And yet a huge part of me questions the decision I made.

Mazlon came into my life as a nine week old furry blonde bundle of energy. I got her from a breeder in Richmond Virginia. I was planning on doing search and rescue and fell in love with the puppy that the breeder picked out.  She picked Mazlon because Mazlon could follow a trail that a pixie layed out. While we never did SAR work, Mazlon grew up at the Rescue Squad and loved snuffling around to her last day. Mazlon was a gentle loving soul who was not a cuddler but was always there right by my side giving gentle comfort and held all of my secrets that I shared with her. Mazlon went everywhere with me.

 

I wish I could write more. I can no longer see my computer screen. (side note ... why is it when you cry, your nose produces more than your tears do?)  The one thing I know is that Mazlon sent me Káva. Káva is a breath of fresh air. I can't even begin to compare the two because they are so different in energy and personality.

Mazlon ... I miss you. The world is grayer without you in it. I know that you are at the Rainbow Bridge with Misha waiting for us to arrive and watching over your pack.

THE AWAKENING

Having just lost my heart, Mazlon, I found this poem a beautiful description of what happens at The Rainbow Bridge. I can only pray that this is true.

 

THE AWAKENING 
By Kathleene S. Baker

 

Shiloh awoke ever so rested. She stood, stretched, and the lush meadow of clover beneath her paws felt velvety. She did not understand. Nor did she grasp the beauty all around her -- she'd been sightless for five years, although images did return in dreams. She'd often awake saddened, yet never gave up hope that her vision would return.

Woofs, yaps, song birds, and even unfamiliar sounds echoed in the distance. A babbling brook nearby summoned Shiloh's thirst. She ambled in that direction.

Shortly, overcome with confidence, she picked up the pace, exhibiting a confidence she'd not had in years. She sprinted towards the rivulet. What joy to run again!

Now and then she completed circles at full speed simply for the thrill. Shiloh's vision had returned! Her reflection in the sparkling water was proof! Lapping the cool water, she viewed beautifully hued fish playing chase several feet below the surface.

Shiloh gazed about for mum and dad. She'd only enjoyed free rein in the backyard and felt uncertain. What if she wandered into danger?

As anxiety escalated, two snow-white doves alit beside her. Finally, something familiar! Trees at home teemed with cooing doves when she meandered about her yard. She'd never understood their calls but now she did. They beckoned her to follow.

Looking up as they hovered above her, a rainbow glistened as if each color was configured of precious gemstones. Soon an old-fashioned, arched, stone bridge appeared glinting with gold and silver. The woofs were closer and Shiloh realized the birds crooned Christmas carols!

Only a few paces onto the bridge, Shiloh was astonished -- Josey raced to her side with a shower of kisses. A red ribbon about her neck with tiny Christmas bells attached tinkled with each movement. Momentarily, games of chase and wrestle ensued -- favorites they'd enjoyed before Josey departed her earthly home.

Shiloh instantly understood, this was Rainbow Bridge!

Mum had described it in detail for weeks as her health declined. Josey introduced Shiloh to family members who had come and gone before her. Her folk's first Schnauzer, Festus, greeted Shiloh with a high five! Tiffany, Schnauzer number two, offered kisses. Maggie and Jack, a mum and son duo, approached with wagging tails. Unexpectedly, two tiny Yorkies appeared -- Fang and Fancy! Yorkies, my folks had Yorkies? They greeted her with gestures of love.

Lastly, cousin Greta excitedly arrived. Shioh's angst began to melt in the midst of a loving family. Still, she'd forever miss mum, dad, and her Schnauzer pal Hank. He'd guided her through the darkness and gave her life meaning.

The pack revealed that the Rainbow Bridge was eternally glorious. And Christmas time was breathtaking to behold as they celebrated Christ's Birth -- the creator of domestic pets. He gifted them an inborn ability to develop remarkable bonds with humans.

With holiday preparations underway, Shiloh was in awe. Red birds, Blue birds, and white doves perched in trees -- live ornaments! All sized spiders spun golden webs of garland 'round and 'round the trees and fire flies twinkled in branches. The weather was mild, sunny, and the few clouds shimmered silvery, yet trees were veiled with snow.

For Shiloh, confusion reigned! In unison, the group proclaimed, "All things are possible at the Bridge." Every tree was decorated, none in the same manner. Covered with iridescent snow, a stately scotch pine stood embellished with butterflies, wings aflutter, displaying a magnificent array of colour and creating swirls of snow that enshrouded the tree with luminous motion.

Knowing her mum's love of poinsettias, Shiloh took special note of a huge fir tree filled with vast red blossoms, goldfinch, and thousands of fire flies. All about were gardens of poinsettias.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Shiloh could only imagine what wonder lay ahead. After a hearty warm meal the pack showed her a new fluffy bed adjacent to theirs. It was plush beyond imagination. The family told of how grand golden eagles soar into the skies to select the proper sized cloud for each new arrival.

Shiloh snuggled in.

Once comfortable, an angel approached whispering, "I'm Dana and will always be nearby, Sweet Girl." She gently placed a coverlet, adorned with pink lace, across a now-healthy, restored body and silently vanished.

Shiloh thought to herself, "Dana! She's my aunt and mum's niece. Greta was her puppy. Oh, I am truly safe." She sighed.

Shiloh drifted into sleep while song birds softly sang her mum's favorite Christmas carol, The Littlest Angel. She knew it was meant for her first night at Rainbow Bridge. Mum had always called her a little angel.

Shiloh slept well, stirring only once to roll over.

She dreamt of the day she would sprint to the bridge and joyfully escort mum, dad and beloved Hank to the other side.

Until then she would play, and rest, and romp, and nap, and wait...